Tuesday, January 22, 2013

To Jodie Foster: "I'm Sorry"

On Sunday, January 13th, I switched over to NBC after watching an episode of the highfalutin BBC/PBS soap opera, "Downton Abbey," to catch some of The Golden Globe Awards. I caught it just in time to see the presentation of their version of the "lifetime achievement award," The Cecil B. DeMille Award. The 2013 recipient was 50-year old actress, Jodie Foster. Ms. Foster is an accomplished actress, having been in the business since the age of three, and has received four Academy Award nominations, winning two. On top of all of that, she is a magna cum laude graduate of Yale University. Regardless of my disagreement with her personal spiritual beliefs, atheist, and personal lifestyle choice, lesbian, Jodie Foster is a brilliant and accomplished actress. So, when I saw that she was this year's recipient of the Cecil B. DeMille Awards, I anticipated a polished and eloquent acceptance speech. However, it was not what I expected. Quite frankly, I did not understand it, feeling on the outside of an inside joke. So, I did what most American, armchair prognosticators do - make a sarcastic comment on Facebook.

Most of my Facebook friends paid little attention to my snarky status update, "Jodie Foster: great actress, bad speechmaker." However, over the past week, I have been bothered about what I wrote. Here's why:

Last week, I posted a blog titled, "Do Manners Matter?" This article was motivated by some of the rudeness and lack of civility I witness by Christians on Facebook almost daily.
Case in point: yesterday, January 21st, as the inaugural ceremony for the second-term of President Barack Obama commenced, a well-known Seattle pastor, Mark Driscoll, "tweeted" this from his Twitter account: "Praying for our president, who today will place his hand on a Bible he does not believe to take an oath to a God he likely does not know." I do not follow Mark Driscoll on Twitter, but saw someone else "retweet" his status. Immediately, I was bothered by the statement and tweeted a response that I'm sure put Pastor Mark in his place. Anyway, back to Jodie Foster...

After thinking about the rudeness of Mark Driscoll's presumptious post, I woke up this morning and thought about my little jibe concerning Ms. Foster's speech and my blog on manners. I became convicted about my sarcastic comments about a woman I do not know, and publicly displaying poor manners by being overly critical of her five-minute acceptance speech on an evening honoring her excellent career. As a public speaker, I don't particularly like it when people make critical and sarcastic comments about my speaking abilities, and I should have remembered that when posting my thoughts to my 614 Facebook friends. What I said was rude and hypocritical concerning what I would write about manners just two days later. 

So, Jodie Foster, I'm sorry for my negative comments about your speech last week. While you have no idea who I am, and will likely never read one of my Facebook statuses, Twitter posts, or listen to my sermons online, www.communitycarlisle.org, I hope you will forgive me. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I did not live up to the teachings of what Scripture teaches: "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6)." I hope to be more encouraging and positive in my comments whether spoken or written in the future.  

Also, Ms. Foster, while I really did not understand most of what your speech was about, what you said about your mother was beautiful. Congratulations on your Cecil B. DeMille Award! I thought you were great in Maverick.  

Monday, January 14, 2013

"Do Manners Matters?"

When Michelle and I learned we were going to be parents, she immediately began buying and borrowing baby books. As Prissy from Gone With the Wind, exclaimed, "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies," Michelle and I knew little 'bout raisin' them. So, we both began to prepare for the challenge of raising a baby boy to a grown man.

While Michelle read multiple books about infant care, nutrition and child development, I read one, How to Raise a Gentleman, a small hardback I found at the checkout counter of my favorite men's clothing store. While the book was interesting, it didn't teach me anything new. However, it became a symbol for me, as I placed it on my living room coffee table, that if I wanted my son Samuel to have manners I would need to teach him, and model them myself.

Last summer, I posted this Emily Post quote on my Facebook status: "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." Emily Post (1872-1960) was a writer whose name has become synonymous with etiquette and manners. While some may see her as a symbol of "stuffiness" and formality, I believe she was a modern pioneer of civility.

After I posted that status, I was asked a few times throughout the day if I had witnessed someone not demonstrating good manners. I kept my response short, but answered in the affirmative. On that particular July day, it wasn't just one person I witnessed not having good manners, but several, and unfortunately, they were in the church. No, it wasn't belching uncontrollably and passing gas (at least not that time), but an unawareness of understanding the needs of others - of not thinking before you speak and how your personal choices affect those around you.

By the way, the behaviors motivating this blog were not directed toward me. Nevertheless, it still bothers me greatly when I see people who make rude comments, lack sensitivity toward others, and are blase about their behavior - especially when it occurs with Christians!

Good and bad manners alike have been associated with geographical regions of our country. While someone may extol the virtues of "southern hospitality" and gentility, others may excuse their rudeness or bluntness as being a part of their city, state or region. However, I've known plenty of uncouth southerners, and many northeasterners who are considerate and polite. While culture can play a part in how manners are displayed, personal choice is still the determining factor in how one chooses to be considerate.

Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." One of the "Fruits of the Spirit," a list of spiritual qualities found in Galatians 5:22-23, is "kindness." These passages, and many other verses in the Bible, promote civility, consideration and common decency toward others in every day life. In short, manners do matter for the Christian, because they reflect the values and virtues of God. Civility, respect, and good behavior is not just fashionable, but should be the favored mindset of disciples of Jesus.