"Do Manners Matters?"

When Michelle and I learned we were going to be parents, she immediately began buying and borrowing baby books. As Prissy from Gone With the Wind, exclaimed, "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies," Michelle and I knew little 'bout raisin' them. So, we both began to prepare for the challenge of raising a baby boy to a grown man.

While Michelle read multiple books about infant care, nutrition and child development, I read one, How to Raise a Gentleman, a small hardback I found at the checkout counter of my favorite men's clothing store. While the book was interesting, it didn't teach me anything new. However, it became a symbol for me, as I placed it on my living room coffee table, that if I wanted my son Samuel to have manners I would need to teach him, and model them myself.

Last summer, I posted this Emily Post quote on my Facebook status: "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." Emily Post (1872-1960) was a writer whose name has become synonymous with etiquette and manners. While some may see her as a symbol of "stuffiness" and formality, I believe she was a modern pioneer of civility.

After I posted that status, I was asked a few times throughout the day if I had witnessed someone not demonstrating good manners. I kept my response short, but answered in the affirmative. On that particular July day, it wasn't just one person I witnessed not having good manners, but several, and unfortunately, they were in the church. No, it wasn't belching uncontrollably and passing gas (at least not that time), but an unawareness of understanding the needs of others - of not thinking before you speak and how your personal choices affect those around you.

By the way, the behaviors motivating this blog were not directed toward me. Nevertheless, it still bothers me greatly when I see people who make rude comments, lack sensitivity toward others, and are blase about their behavior - especially when it occurs with Christians!

Good and bad manners alike have been associated with geographical regions of our country. While someone may extol the virtues of "southern hospitality" and gentility, others may excuse their rudeness or bluntness as being a part of their city, state or region. However, I've known plenty of uncouth southerners, and many northeasterners who are considerate and polite. While culture can play a part in how manners are displayed, personal choice is still the determining factor in how one chooses to be considerate.

Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." One of the "Fruits of the Spirit," a list of spiritual qualities found in Galatians 5:22-23, is "kindness." These passages, and many other verses in the Bible, promote civility, consideration and common decency toward others in every day life. In short, manners do matter for the Christian, because they reflect the values and virtues of God. Civility, respect, and good behavior is not just fashionable, but should be the favored mindset of disciples of Jesus.